For the past century there have been millions of books and magazine articles and high school courses and college programs and celebrities and TV shows ad nauseam helping girls and young women make their unlimited choices. But it’s all been in a self-serving vacuum. It’s been over 150 years since anyone gave some advice to American boys and young men (other than telling them to do whatever women want), and that was mainly by passing on as platitudes a few thoughts originally jotted down by Ben Franklin in the 18th century. Boys today are taught nothing more than that they will achieve “happiness” or “perfection” whenever they figure out what women want, for themselves, at any moment in time. (P.S. It’s a riddle; it can’t be done.)
News Flash, guys: The 18th century is GONE. For better or worse, we ALL now occupy a world created by and for women.
Even though there has never been anyone or anything requiring or expecting American women to do anything, there is nothing on planet Earth about which those creatures cannot find something to whine about – and to blame on those evil men. It’s in their genes. It’s quite simply their primary purpose for existing. The nauseating whine – it’s the first sound you hear before you’re born, it’s the last sound you hear before you die, and it never let’s up in between. The more rights and choices American women accumulate for themselves (all devoid of responsibility naturally), the more they whine, and the more they whine, the more useless they become. What’s so very pathetic about it all is the fact that all of their perceived problems are of their own creation. When they’re not whining, they’re busy dictating what men must do to make them happy. And the amazing thing is that there are still some really dumb guys out there who will jump up and salute the dictator. It’s a fool’s errand. They more women dictate, the unhappier they become, so the need for more whining and more dictating. Etc.. Any guy who plays that unwinnable game is just a brain-dead moron. Trust me: All that really expensive external packaging is hiding some really awful stuff inside that will make your life a hell, and the more expensive the packaging, the more you will suffer from the mush inside.
The following is not for brain-dead morons. The American social environment in which we now live was shaped by and for the incessant demands of women, for themselves, regardless of anything else, including the impact of those demands on men, children, the larger society, or the future of all of us. And women have never stopped complaining about the “unintended consequences” to themselves of their own demands. It’s always been a case of “whatever women want”, at any given moment in time, and, since no one has ever challenged women on their “thinking”, women always assumed that men would keep on adapting to their demands forever.
So American boys and young men, at least those with brains, are starting to think for themselves – regardless of whatever women want. There are now very clear signs that all the constant yielding nonsense has finally run its course, and men are starting to make decisions based on their own wants. Since women have never been adult enough to make their choices and then live with them, childishly believing that they could “have it all” whenever they wanted it, could change their minds whenever it suited them, could force everything else in life to bend to their will, they have never bothered to consider the impacts of all this childish nonsense on men, much less on their society. “Women have rights; they do NOT have responsibilities. Everyone else has the responsibility parts – for ensuring whatever rights women decide to demand.” (Yes, it is, and always has been, just asinine.) But smart men are now asking, “Why bother? Women just want to marry Government to ensure their guaranteed dependence anyway, so why should I be the patsy for whatever ELSE women want? There are certainly better things I could be doing than playing stupid lap dog for some self-involved whining woman.”
Men are NOT responsible for what goes on in the brains of women, nor is it the mission of men to waste time trying to decipher all that childish nonsense. No one and no thing is forcing American women to do anything; they are free to make their own choices, decide their own behavior. Women are at least a half century late in finally growing up to become responsible adults, to living up to their own demands, so, obviously, further dalliance with this stuff is simply futile. If women didn’t have “someone else” to complain about, they would simply melt down to a sputtering pile of corrupted computer code. These are infantile children who now even whine about paying more for their dry cleaning than do men, as if men are forcing them to wear the clothing they choose to wear. How pathetic is THAT? The notion that “someone else” must pick of the tab for the free choices and the elective behavior of our “special” women is simply idiotic. It’s just another gross stupidity that comes from living a lifetime without ever being challenged on your self-serving “thinking”. There is no “special” in equal. The longer men continue to humor women, the more women will continue to take advantage of them, to get men to take the blame, pay the bills and do the hard stuff for “very special me”. Women have had a full century to shape society according to their myopic demands; now it’s time for men to move on and try to make the best of what women have rendered – according to their own best interests, damned whatever women want. It should be of no concern to men if women choose to keep speaking their own code language that only they understand; there are very many far more worthwhile things in life for men to do, in their own language.
But perhaps it would be helpful to provide some structure for the choices that now face boys and young men in America. (It’s possible that the following, while drawn from the discourse of intelligent men in private, has been “banned in America”, since I have never seen it anywhere in a public forum. Maybe it, too, falls under that “crime” of “sexual harassment”, so be careful how you use it. American women, with all their many powerful lobbies, have long enjoyed a huge voter majority, so it’s against the law to criticize them, much less hold them accountable.) There’s really no sense to tilting against the winds of social change driven by others that you have no chance of abating. This is especially true if those others don’t care one bit about what happens to you or to their society in the process of achieving their own wants. It’s just stupid to continue playing the game by rules that others keep adjusting to serve themselves. The best a smart guy can do under such conditions is make adjustments in those winds that play to his advantage while lessening their impact on his own existence.
In our society the strongest winds are driven by a “feminist” determination to dramatically change forever the relationship between men and women, between society and those women who rule it. Even though spoiled Baby Boomer women and their daughters have been driving this campaign for over a half century and are still whining the exact same song they were in 1960 despite having achieved significant changes, one area remains relatively intact. At least it is among Baby Boomers and their children, if not among those younger and more wisely cynical.
This one area involves the “institution” of marriage. But that “institution” now exists only in the romantic fantasy world created by and for women, and actually bears almost no resemblance in reality to the popular myth. If American women didn’t incessantly whine about the consequences of their own free choices, didn’t actually revel in the “miserable suffering” of their “eternal victimhood”, they simply wouldn’t be American women. It’s what they do. It’s programmed in their genes, hard-wired at birth. It’s their very raison d’être, their excuse for everything. (There ought to be an app for that. What’s a good short title for keeping everyone updated on the latest American women Whine Of The Minute? “Gimme My Pacifier!“) The Real Question is why any sane man would want to waste time with all that nauseating crap. Life is far too short and already suffocatingly boring enough. I can’t remember the last time I met a “happily married” American man who really was “happy” beneath the absurd front he was required to put forward, compliantly reciting the same old platitudes from centuries long gone. So perhaps it’s best for smart younger guys to take an objective look at that marriage “institution”. The trick is for guys who learned how to think to use sound logic to better balance silly emotion and self-serving propaganda.
The basic premise underlying almost everything in contemporary American society is this: “Women have rights; men have responsibility.” This premise is just asinine. Women have been demanding “equality” for over a century, but there is no “special” in equal. Despite the ever-shifting delusions of women, men and women have equal rights AND equal responsibility. Get it? Since women would never assume responsibility for the choices men make, men should not assume responsibility for the choices women make. So the first thing to understand about male-female relationships in contemporary American society is this: Men are NOT responsible, or accountable, for the behavior of women. (Repeat that statement three times; write it down, memorize it.) So, from there, it’s also just asinine for men to continue to be bound by the same roles and responsibilities and expectations as always, while women are free to make up whatever new roles and rights and freedoms they want whenever they feel like it. Only morons consent to such self-serving dictate.
(Also, the very dumbest thing any man can do is get entangled with a woman who is a perpetual child, so the following assumes some semblance of adulthood as a minimum. If females are under thirty, assume they have the maturity and sense of responsibility of a 12-year old, and do NOT waste your time (or money). You are required the have the maturity and sense of responsibility of a 30-year-old by age 12, so no matter what happens, you will be the patsy. For the past half century American women have been using politics and propaganda to acquire rights and shed responsibilities, while using bigotry and schools to engineer males into trained monkeys. If you think there’s gender equality in America, that “all equal under the law” is actually true, you are a hopeless idiot; stop reading here! American women actually believe all those really stupid lies about themselves that men are required to tell them from cradle to grave.)
“The only reason to envy someone else is because you settled for less.” This wise observation is equally applicable to both men and women, in all endeavors, including marriage. Never settle for “good enough”.
I’ve been bouncing around the world on my own since before I was 15, and I’ve actually managed to learn a few things about marriage that I’d like to share with those younger male readers who keep asking me unexpected questions. The following tries to combine my responses to around 45 different guys’ thoughtful comments or questions on this subject. After a couple of marriages and a number of “relationships”, plus friendships with hundreds of men, I still have many more insoluble (and inconsequential) questions about women than answers, but here is some of what I’ve managed to learn about marriage:
1. Falling in love is a truly wonderful experience. Enjoy it while it lasts, for it never does. And then, when the ‘romance’ part ends, move on, while it’s still possible to cherish the memory. (American women are, above all, in love with themselves, so give her a mirror when you say goodbye, and she’ll never know you’re gone.) But don’t wait too long. The longer you wait, the more it will cost. In our twisted society, even under law theoretically applicable equally to everyone, men are “presumed guilty”, and women are “presumed innocent”. The more comfortable her life becomes, the more “bored” with it she’ll get, and, rather than pursue something constructive to overcome her boredom, she’ll just blame you for creating it, Get it? You can’t win. (And don’t ever try that “bored” routine with her.) Most five-year or older marriages today are fake “relationships” maintained solely by the guy’s fear of how much it will cost him to leave and find something that he actually enjoys doing. He knows he doesn’t have a chance for an equitable outcome, so he just tries to make the best of a bad situation, for a v-e-r-y long time. Just remember that, because of her “right” to childishly change her mind on every whim, she’ll lose interest in you long before you lose interest in her. Women change their minds with the phases of the Moon. Remember: She has a “right to change her mind”; you do not. (It’s “equality”.) So just use a calendar, pick a specific month a few years down the road, protect your money, and, no matter what, stick to the plan, and depart on schedule.
“The brain is the most amazing organ. It works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, from birth until you fall in love.” – Irish humor.
There is an old adage that goes: “Women marry men expecting to change them, but they don’t. Men marry women expecting they will never change, but they do.” (Amazingly, American women view their own trait as a plus, never considering that it applies not just to marriage, but to employment, careers and to all other relationships, too, that it is, in fact, an excellent predictor of failure. Such immature people are always hoping to slip freely into greener pastures, rather than investing the time and effort into making their own pastures greener.) There are various ways to interpret this adage. I prefer to view it as a simple matter of character; either you have it, or you don’t. People of character are steadfast, reliable, trustworthy. Those without character are mush serving only themselves. Only a fool invests in a perpetually fickle child. The Holly Golightlys are a dime a dozen, and they never stop changing. I am an American; I believe in equality. I judge women exactly as I judge men, according to our constitutional principle of “all equal under the law”. If you want my trust, my respect, then you earn it – until you don’t. If we can send 18-year-old boys off to die in stupid wars, or off to prison for making a stupid mistake, then we certainly can hold 18-year-old girls to the same standard of adulthood. If a person doesn’t know who they are, is still incapable of making adult decisions, by age 18, they never will, and they will never stop blaming others for their own failure to grow up. Who needs that? Certainly not women.
Note: Everyone, including those in the “justice” system, demands that heterosexual males be fully responsible for their own decisions by age 12, no later than age 14; everyone else, apparently, is born with a very severe case of “arrested development” that requires at least twice as long to reach some semblance of adulthood. Yes, it’s another example of really twisted “equality” in America. (If you want a really good lesson in institutional double standards, spend a day in an average courtroom and pay very close attention to what’s going on with young offenders. It’s amazing what you can get away with when you know that your target has no powerful lobby or interest group to make very loud complaints on your behalf.)
2. In today’s world, marriage is for masochists, for both parties. If masochism is your thing, jump on in. Just keep in mind that, no matter what happens, even when she cheats on you, it will be, inexplicably, your fault. (Here’s a ‘secret’ that only really dumb people don’t know: Wives cheat on their husbands just as much as husbands cheat on them. Women just don’t pay anywhere near the same price for doing it, primarily because men are so stupid. Over the last 20 years, the number of wives having extramarital affairs has doubled, while those of husbands has remained constant. By their own admission, more wives are cheating because their higher incomes, plethora of government welfare programs, the “vast village” now “raising” their kids on someone else’s dime, dumb husbands, etc., all make them “less worried about the financial costs of divorce.” But it’s still a Really Big Cost to men, so plan accordingly.) A 2016 survey of married French women found that the Number One “cause” of their infidelity was their husband’s failure to do his share of the housework. Just imagine how far a husband would get with such an incredibly twisted “excuse”. “It was her fault. She wouldn’t comply with his demand to clean up the garage, so he had to hop in the sack with a girl at the office.” Yeah, right. Just remember: Only natural-born idiots ever give a cheater another chance to cheat.
The single most important element in human relations is trust. Without trust there is nothing that is real, not even respect. The one act that can immediately withdraw trust is a lie. Cheaters, inescapably, are liars. Never e-v-e-r grant a liar a second chance; you will inevitably end up not even respecting yourself. Even truth, in fact, is irrelevant, because suspicion always moves in when trust slips away. Gender, too, is immaterial. And the cost is always great. That is masochism.
“Then… it slowly faded. I couldn’t picture you anymore. I tried to talk out loud to you like I used to, but there was nothing there. I couldn’t hear you. Then… I just gave it up. Everything stopped. You just… disappeared. ………… And now I’m working here. I hear your voice all the time. Every man has your voice.” — Jane, in “Paris, Texas” (Germany-France, 1984, Sam Shepard/L.M. Kit Carson. See “Composition“.)
Do not ever remain with a women ten minutes longer than the moment you first feel that you can no longer trust her. It doesn’t make any difference if you’ve been with her for 20 minutes or 20 years. It will only eat you up, and turn everything to royal sh-t. It is NOT worth it. There is at least a 95% chance that your instincts are warranted, and that you will deeply regret not going with those instincts. Get out, and do NOT look back. If she asks, tell her the truth, that you doubt her trust, and leave. You do NOT owe her any more of an explanation than she would give you, which is nothing, usually no more than the trite brainless lie that she just “needs her space.” So tell her you need your space. If you give her a chance, she will turn it around on you faster than you can think. (It’s in her genes, and perfected daily from birth onward.) Just go. There are a lot of others out there who can actually earn and keep your trust. And trust, mutual trust, is the most important aspect of any relationship. When it’s gone, it’s gone.
3. Marriage today is most often a nifty tax-reducing business partnership, but only if the terms of the partnership are clearly stated in a legal contract, in advance. Thanks to the demands of women, a marriage contract now is actually easier to dissolve than a business contract, which is probably why marriage is so popular for business purposes, so that contract becomes critically important at the end. Pay a lawyer, write it down, spell it out, and then get both signatures witnessed and notarized. Especially for women marriage can be a gold mine, so get that pre-nuptial agreement locked in stone. And when the end comes, and it will, make sure to repeat the process in a post-nuptial agreement, too.
Remember that old adage, “Behind every successful man is a great woman.”? Well, there was a time when it was mostly true, but it stopped being even remotely true with Baby Boomer women. During the 1960s these young women demanded “self-fulfillment”, and that was NOT to be found in the family. While young men were sweating the Draft for Vietnam, tens of millions of them decided to flood into the now quite safe labor market, pushing men out and driving down wages and the value of labor. In no time at all, it was necessary for two full-time workers to support a family at the same level previously managed by just one worker. By 1980, the “family” – of a man, a woman and children – was mostly a fake copy of its former self. Now women are just a net drag on any smart man’s quest to get ahead. Women no longer are interested in contributing to the family’s success; they are far more interested in using the family to further their own wants. And the whining and complaining that comes when things don’t go the way they wanted them to go is just oppressively suffocating. When that happens, and, thanks to the incessant drumbeat of many women’s lobbies, it inevitably always does happen, the guy’s main utility is to take the blame for her unhappiness – which, of course, is not at all conducive to success. And here’s the kicker: Guess who’s to blame for his unhappiness? HE is. What sane guy needs that? Losers have been jumping through hoops and rules mandated by women for the past half century. Winners don’t do stupid stuff. Best for him to not even bother with the whole marriage charade and go it alone, any way he wants to go. Let her find “self-fulfillment” by marrying her first choice – Big Daddy Government.
Besides, if she loses her job, she’ll write it off as a tough break of no greater consequence than failing to win this month’s lotto. If you lose your job, she’ll emasculate you mercilessly as an inept impotent failure who can’t even tie his own shoestrings much less meet his mandated duty to provide for “the family” in the first-class comfort she deserves. (It’s more of that twisted “equality” stuff. There’s a good reason why such men exceed all other groups in suicide rates, and it’s called “wives”.)
4. Marriage is, apparently, also useful to guys who need a mommy. If this is you, go ahead; you can play video games in the basement after your day job in the cubicle and try to ignore mommy’s constant orders to clean up your room and hold down the noise. American women excel at nothing more than giving orders; they just really hate to receive orders. Women ordering men around is a “right”; men doing the same with women is “oppression”. Also, women love to ridicule dumb men, but the truth is that they greatly prefer dumb men as mates because dumb guys will do whatever women tell them to do – for “very special me”. Even better, dumb guys give women something to whine about when they screw up – as dumb guys are apt to do. Dumb guys also provide constant fodder for stuff that gets blabbed to their wives’ girlfriends. So, dumb is “in”; brains are “out”. Get it? American women are “intimidated” by very intelligent men, especially those who have difficulty telling them all the stupid lies they demand to be told.
I had a friend I’d run into over the years here and there in unexpacted places. A highly reliable rock-solid kind of guy who always seemed to have a new lady friend somewhere in the vicinity, one day he told me, “I’m man enough not to need a wife.” Thinking he was making one of his usual glib jokes, I sort of laughed. But the more I thought about it later, the more I suspected that he had struck on a significant truth, especially in today’s world. Forty years of single life later, I know it. The more man a man is, the less reason he has to put up with all the crap that is now such a major part of the price of marriage.
5. Marriage is also useful to “career” women who needs a dependable live-in maid, an effeminate nanny for their trophy child, an on-call handyman, and an all-around whipping boy – all in one subservient dummy. If this is you, make sure she pays you a contract salary well above $80,000, with full benefits plus expenses, and try hard to come up with at least one whine a day. Pack your bag the minute she starts talking about how much she hates the job she’s about to lose. (As you’ve been taught your whole life, there’s nothing more useless than a provider who isn’t providing, especially in the comfort you deserve.)
“A man doesn’t know what happiness is until he’s married. By then it’s too late.” – Frank Sinatra
6. Under existing law, regulation and policy, a “family” in America is defined as a woman, preferably with one or more child dependents. There is no requirement anywhere for a “family” to have a husband or a father, except to pay the bills (which preferably he does while living on the Moon). As such, men in “families” are as interchangeable as widget bureaucrats. Trust me: far and away, the primary motivation for women to marry guys is the same as why they vote for politicians – economic benefit, to themselves. (“Feminists” have made “family” a very effective propaganda code word – which ironically relies heavily on that lingering but long-gone “1950s” popular image, which “feminists” have long vilified. In US politics, “Families” = “Women” – a proven vote-buying propaganda technique. The Obama Administration has added “middle class” to “families” to further cloud the issue, especially now that women are garnering twice as many university degrees as men year after year, decade after decade, even as boys in the female-dominated school industry are the greatest losers in all the vote-buying fawning of our responsibility-free women. There is no “husband” or “father” anywhere in the thinking behind the “families” or “middle class” propaganda tricks, which is designed solely to shift women’s dependence instead to government – at the middle class level.)
So the only thing guys bring to the table is money, money best spent elsewhere. And this remains true even on the socio-economic low end of society. Over 54% of divorced low-income men say they wish they had remained married, but only 18% of divorced low-income women wish they had not gotten divorced. Three times as many low-income women as low income men endorsing divorce is a ringing endorsement of the financial and emotional rewards society now heaps on self-involved women, and especially “single mothers”, at the expense of “someone else” – regardless of the elective choices women make and the damage such choices do to society and to their children, and most especially to boys. (See “Julia, The 2012 American Woman“.) (Yes, we are paying to destroy ourselves.) American women still whine about being “dumped” by their husbands, still complain incessantly about “absent fathers”, still wallow in their “single mother” victimhood, but the simple fact is that well over two-thirds, and rising, of all divorces in America are initiated by women. (And the number of women who tell their husbands to get lost because they can get higher and more reliable income from government is rising steadily.) Marriage in America is ALL about “whatever women want”, for themselves, damned anyone, or anything, else. So is divorce. American women have rights; they do NOT have responsibilities. Everyone else has the responsibility for ensuring whatever rights women decide to demand for themselves, at any moment in time. And the most important factor in both marriage and divorce is money. Get it?
“My son calls another man daddy.
He’ll never know my name nor my face.
God only knows how it hurts me
For another to be in my place.”
– Hank Williams (1923-53) “The Hillbilly Shakespeare”
Over 40%, and rising, of American women do not use birth control, and over half of all US pregnancies are “unintended.” Over half of all children born in America are born to single women, exercising their choices. Actually, given the ready availability of a wide range of free or inexpensive contraceptives, including abstinence and government welfare, the far more accurate term for most American pregnancies is “deliberately irresponsible choice.” The sad irony is that abortions, even as they have become legal, inexpensive and safe, are also becoming increasingly rare – as is married child rearing. ALL of this stuff is the free choices, the elective behavior, of women – doing whatever they want, while shifting the blame and the costs to “someone else”. Quite obviously, most American women, with all those free choices, with all those rights devoid of responsibility, prefer to marry government for their guaranteed dependency. It just makes them feel better about themselves to shift the blame to “absent fathers.” It’s just the usual “feminist” bullshit; when it’s all about emotional perception, logical truth is irrelevant. (Interest group propaganda is a truly amazing force in our poorly educated society.) Government provides a guaranteed paycheck every week straight to the woman’s hands, and government will never get laid off, fired or down-sized like those pathetic men, so it’s by far a much better choice for her, and she knows it – because government has taught her well. Many women will dump their husbands, kick out the fathers, just to get that check. (Before you buy that “absent father” b.s., take a closer look at why they’re absent – and do NOT rely solely on the woman’s self-serving testimony.) (Once you strip away all the phony excuses, propaganda and rationalizations, it becomes obvious that, in America, the vast majority of those seeking their dependence with government are proclaiming that they are too stupid and lazy to compete and succeed on their own in the arena, or too childish to make responsible adult choices, and therefore need government to confiscate money from those who are smart, energetic, competitive, responsible and successful, and give it to “very special me”. Eventually, of course, you are left with no one who will even admit to being smart and energetic and responsible, and thus no one competing to succeed, either. You are then left with a whole “nation” of lazy irresponsible morons all looking around for “someone else” to pay the bills, take the blame and do the hard stuff for “special me”. And there’s no “someone else” left.)
The following is for guys with actual brains:
Remember: American women have rights; they do NOT have responsibilities. It’s the responsibility of everyone else to ensure whichever rights our “birthright entitled” nobility class “special” women decide to claim for themselves. Got it? Now….
7. Today an American woman can offer to a marriage only two things that a man might need but cannot do better himself – sex and children. (I’ve proven this all my life.) (It might be helpful at this point to consider a couple of key facts about America at the beginning of the “enlightened” 21st century: (1) half the children born in the US are born to single women, and (2) half the remaining children are “raised” by divorced women – all exercising their plethora of choices and rights. That means only one in four American boys can count on a constant father through age 18. It’s another way our “special” women get “someone else” to pay for their own destructive behavior, and why boys, with no lobbies, pay the highest costs.)
What policies and regulations and court orders under such laws as the new Health Care Act say is that women are not responsible for the consequences of their own voluntary choices, their own elective behavior, that “someone else” is responsible if a woman, who in America has total control over the entire procreation process, makes a series of conscious choices that result in consequence she does not want. (Under US law, sexual relations without the consent of the woman is rape. So, if isn’t rape, then it’s consensual, a voluntary act of the woman in which she alone may decide.) The choices she alone has include: (1) to engage in sexual relations, (2) to engage in unprotected sexual relations, (3) to take no action to preclude conception after unprotected sexual relations, (4) to take no action for months until the fetus is fully formed, (5) to either abort the fetus or bring it to term, etc.. The consequences of these choices include: (1) pregnancy and (2) either abortion or (3) delivery. If her choice is delivery, another consequence is (4) raising a child. For all of these free choices, which no other party may make, which constitute her own elective behavior, “someone else” must now assume responsibility, and pick up the tab, in taxes and insurance premiums and in child support and “education” and health care, etc..
So any decision even your own wife makes to have or not to have your child is solely hers. Without any money you bring to the table, you are irrelevant to the equation. As usual, your function is just to obediently pick up the responsibility for the choices she makes. American women are not, and never have been, required to do anything. American women have rights; they do NOT have responsibilities. (“In a society based on equality, I am so very special. I can do, or not do, whatever I want and still blame someone else, still play victim of the consequences. It’s the way I view the world. Isn’t it great that there are so many women voters that we have decided all elections since 1980? The only thing that’s important to us is what we want for “very special me”. And we teach that stuff every day to our young clones.”) In reality, of course, everyone else, including the fetus, is the victim – of some woman’s irresponsibility. It sure helps a lot that so many American men are just stupid.
“One does not deceive oneself about the consequences of one’s acts; one deceives oneself about the ease with which one can live with those consequences.” – John Edward Williams, American writer (1922-94), author of “Stoner” and “Augustus“.
The US Census Bureau reports that about 27% of all American households today is made up of a single person – the highest level in history. More than one of every four adult Americans now lives alone, presumably, especially for men, to escape all the crap that comes with the alternative. But they still can’t escape the taxes needed to support all those households out there headed by whining single mothers exercising all their rights and choices.
8. Sex in a marriage will cost you a thousand times more than that purchased as-needed on the economy. Believe me, the marital variety isn’t worth anywhere near its exorbitant cost. And, at the very least, the pay-as-you-go variety is one thing the marital variety definitely is not – honest. (Just what is the real purpose of those expensive baubles required several times a year on schedule? Those mandated gifts in most American marriages haven’t made sense since around 1970.) Commercial prostitution remains in disfavor in the US mainly because married women don’t want the competition cutting in on their legal profits. (The only thing American women ever consider is themselves.) Why do you think there are now incredibly over 1,100 federal statutes that proscribe economic benefits based on a legal description of “marriage” as between a “man and a women”? It’s because that’s the rigged system our women majority voters demanded, for “me” – for when the ‘man’ part isn’t there to take responsibility for her choices. (Yes, there are still a lot of legal problems with treating one partner of a “same-sex marriage” in the same manner that men in “different-sex marriages” are treated. In “same-sex” marriages, it’s not so easy deciding which partner to screw over.)
Then there’s that stupid “cheating” construct. See Item #2 above. One way to see through such asinine judgments is simple logic: If someone is cheating, they sure aren’t cheating with themselves. There HAS to be a third party in the equation, and that third party HAS to share equal “guilt”. But idiots not bound by logic always just blame the sucker guy. Don’t accept the nonsense! If she’s cheating, take her to the cleaners – for the house, the car, the alimony, the child support, the whole nine yards – just like she would. And don’t forget to fatten the pot with whatever you can extract from the other guy, too. Why should only women play this lucrative extortion game? One increasingly ‘positive’ sign here is the number of men who now play the old “affectionate rip-off artist” con game; women have been doing a very good job of teaching their sons their own games.
There is a principle in common law called “alienation of affection”, dating from Civil War 1864, which allows tort claim action against third parties in a marital triangle. Such laws came about due to really huge numbers of husbands being away at war. As such, “alienation of affection” goes beyond mere grounds for two-party divorce. Because many later came to believe that the guilty spouse is responsible for their own choices, their own behavior, and because most guilty spouses were husbands, and third parties were women (mistresses), “alienation of affection” laws no longer exist in 42 states, mainly through the demands of women (who, after the Civil War period faded, were most often the sued third party). “Male cheaters are solely responsible for their own behavior, but female third parties are not.” (More “equality”.) However, such laws still do exist in Hawaii, Illinois, North Carolina, New Mexico, Mississippi, South Dakota, and Utah. About 200 cases are filed each year in North Carolina alone, some resulting in multi-million dollar verdicts. Women, in their own self-interests, naturally keep pushing to abolish such laws, but as cheating becomes more evenly divided between husbands and wives, smart men will begin taking an opposite view about the utility of such laws when applied to the third parties with whom their wives are cheating. And why not? Why should the third party actively participating in a crime which violates a legal contract not pay an equally heavy price, too? That they do not is just absurd. You certainly can do that with other contracts. What asinine “thinking” allows women involved in breaking contracts to simply walk away without cost?
“All women, whether they want to face it or not….want to see a man in a tied-up situation. They spend their lives trying to get a man into a tied-up situation. Their lives are fulfilled when they get as many men as they can….into a tied-up situation.” – Tennessee Williams, “The Night of the Iguana” (spoken by T. Lawrence Shannon), stage play based on his 1948 short story.
9. If having children is high on your list, you need to understand that you have only a one-in-four chance (25%) of claiming any children your wife chooses to have as “your own” through age 18 (assuming, of course, they really are your own, which is about a 50-50 chance). Those are loser odds. You’d be smarter targeting any inheritance you leave to a charity of your own choosing. (And you can forget about retaining any hint of self-respect or actual manhood you may have left if you’re stupid enough to get into a custody battle with an American woman, her attorneys and her judges. Just let it go; regardless of the outcome, the kids will be programmed to hate you anyway. You’d be better off to quit your job and go live on a beach; no income, no alimony, no paying for two mortgages, etc..)
10. The cost of those children, to you, will be just staggering (twice as staggering if they’re girls), especially considering that paying that cost is far and away your primary value as a husband and father, with or without the marriage. Your only other value is taking the blame for the choices the wife and kids make that inevitably screw up their lives. (Hating and blaming inherently evil fathers is everyone’s favorite answer for everything negative or difficult in their lives. “Evil fathers”, a Baby Boomer invention, is far and away the most over-used cliché in American society. (George Lucas institutionalized the concept of the “Evil Father” for Baby Boomers and their offspring when he made Darth Vader the father of both Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia.) I have never known a single person whining about their absent father, or a father who didn’t leave them enough money, who wasn’t a loser seeking “someone else” to blame, just like their mothers. (My dad died suddenly with normal debts when I was eleven. As was usually the case in those days for young men, including soldiers, he didn’t leave me a dime. Who do I get to blame?) Fathers are the default blame for everything negative impacting wives and children. It goes with the territory; the only way to avoid it is to become Mommy-Two, and then they’ll hate you for being a spineless wuss – useful only for telling them all the stupid lies they want to hear about themselves. It’s loser odds again. In America the only good dads are dead dads – IF they left enough money behind in addition to Social Security benefits that benefit them more than they will ever benefit dad. In very stark contrast to the past, even the wives of dead ground soldiers today can immediately pocket over a quarter of a million dollars, in addition to what he’s already contributed to the pot plus all the benefits he’s earned for her in the years ahead. And if your wife and kids really want to wallow in their “victimhood”, nothing makes it easier than a dead dad who can be painted any way they want to paint him knowing he can’t balance the picture. Who needs that?
“Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones.” – William Shakespeare, “Julius Caesar” (Act 3, Scene 2)
(The Baby Boomers changed “Caesar” to “fathers”, and made the practice mandatory.)
(It’s been my experience that those who are most disposed to “debunking” past human accomplishments, tarnishing reputations of respected others, wild conspiracy theorists and similar delusional endeavors of the negative variety are almost always total losers who themselves have never done anything worth noting. On the contrary, most are proven failures who blame everyone else for their own failure to launch. So, to make themselves feel less inconsequential, they spend their lives belittling or besmirching others. These are among the planet’s most self-involved zeros, with a pathological need to pump themselves up by tearing others down – in their own minds. The most common trait they never learned or acquired is integrity, as evidenced by their drive to get other losers to buy into their utter nonsense, too. Examples of their hoaxes include the quackery that the most innovative breakthroughs of the Greatest Generation were all knowledge gifts handed to them by space aliens, that the Kennedy assassinations were the consequences of any one of a dozen huge conspiracies, and that the US military officers participating in the early space missions never even left Earth much less walked on the Moon. Whenever I encounter one of these nitwits, I wonder if they need help crossing from one side of the street to the other. Most aren’t brave enough to try, but the damage these creeps can do with an internet-connected computer down in mom’s basement scares the hell out of me. It’s especially scary in a country that fails so miserably in teaching kids how to think.)
A version of the cliché, usually applied ad nauseam to the lower economic class, accuses “absent fathers” of being the sole blame for “destitute families” and all that comes from that equation. The simple truth is that, in most cases, it’s actually the result of a calculated decision that the woman now can get more financial assistance, hand-outs and subsidies, and on a reliable basis, from Big Daddy Government and assorted charities than she can get from the man she voluntarily elected to father her children – and still garner all that emotional “victim” sympathy from others in the bargain. Everyone else is responsible for picking up the tab for the choices women make. Get it? In such cases, with one less mouth to feed, it’s a win-win for the woman, but she will never stop wallowing in her victimhood caused by the “evil” father she drove away or refused to marry after choosing to have his child. (And all this while she sits at home adding a pound a week watching soap operas and women’s talk shows telling her how much of a victim she is.) And, of course, her children naturally follow her example. One of our society’s most ridiculous and laughable “tributes” is now Fathers Day – which gives rise to my theory about why male suicide in my society keeps climbing: they just can’t figure out another way to escape all the bullshit. In America, Father’s Day is just a sick joke, for morons.
Since American women would greatly prefer to marry Big Daddy Government, and are doing an excellent job of that, men are sort of “icing on the cake”, someone they can boss around, try to reshape into their own “ideal”, ridicule behind his back, force to tell all the lies they demand to hear, and use as that “someone else” needed to take the blame, pay the bills (including for all those obscenely expensive shoes she uses to impress other privileged women), and do all the hard stuff for “very special” “me”. You are the ‘useful idiot’ patsy. (Just be careful when verbalizing any of this; women are now moving to make it illegal for men to speak their own mind about women. You can be charged with “sexual harassment” for speaking the truth about our “special” nobility class – sued, ruined and expelled simply for exercising your freedom of speech. Yep, this is America, censoring inconvenient truth. American women in government have already made it impossible to hold bureaucrats accountable for their incompetence, fraud, illegal political shenanigans and self-enriching schemes.)
Why is “integrity” such a priceless quality for an American man, but not even considered for an American woman? Have you ever heard of a “woman of principle”?
11. After the divorce papers come, and they will, your wife and kids will take everything you managed to earn and spend the rest of their lives depicting you as Attila The Hun. (There are few things more disgusting than having to listen to some grown loser whine that the cause of all his or her problems is an awful, or absent, father – who didn’t pay in enough money. It’s even more disgusting when you learn that everything he or she knows about that father was learned from the mother, serving herself. There is now a huge number of really dumb guys out there, and many of them are indistinguishable from our whining women – made that way by women’s deliberate design.) (Remember Johnny Cash’s “A Boy Named Sue”? Now that was a father. The son learned very early that life is tough, how to stand on his own, fight his way forward, to overcome an adversity he could not escape, on his own merit. I’ve been waiting ever since for a sequel by a woman singer: “A Girl Named Thor”. Or Igor. Or Lurch. Don’t hold your breath.)
12. Considering the above, getting married, especially to an American women, is to automatically refute any intelligence you claim. Men with brains don’t do such incredibly stupid things. Why would they? American women are first and foremost in love with themselves. Even when a husband, a father, a son is lost to them in death, these self-involved creatures will literally wallow in their own “victimhood”. (If the lost party was a husband, their first instinct is to vilify his memory as an extension, or even further embellishment, of that “victimhood”, knowing full well that other women really eat that stuff up.) If you can find nothing better to do with your life than waste time with someone whose whole existence is all wrapped up in “very special victim me”, go right ahead. But for men with brains, American women are best left to wallow in their self-pity and misandry among themselves in their very own fantasy world, while you find something actually worthwhile to do in the real world. The more their society affords them the luxury to wallow in that self-pity, the more they whine, and the ever more petty and infantile the whines become. Let them marry Big Daddy Government; he doesn’t mind at all handing them money confiscated from “someone else” — in exchange for their dependency votes.
13. So, in sum, for American guys today, marriage is not only for masochists; it’s also for morons. These days it seems that the only smart guys interested in marriage are gays, jewelers, wedding caterers and bridal shop owners – primarily, of course, for the economic benefits. (See Footnote #1.) If you still feel a need to marry, go find another country in which to do it.
14. Or, if you must remain in the US and want to have an occasional back-up handy, an actually reliable back-up, find a like-minded guy and marry him. I haven’t yet heard of any test for “gay-ness” to qualify for this one. Once the Supreme Court overturns “DOMA” (“Defense Of Marriage Act”), I suspect that a lot of military guys will be doing “same-sex” marriage just to get out of the barracks and pull in those lucrative extra benefits, including a nice home instead of a bunk, that women military spouses have extracted from the government in recent times. And why not? By my calculations, this two-guys arrangement beats marriage to a contemporary American woman by at least 100-to-1. Just consider marriage to a woman honestly for what it now really is – as a tax-reducing business arrangement in which you lose. Then do a legal “pre-nuptial agreement” with the other guy and skip all those stupid expensive gifts. Simple. (Besides, straight women certainly have no reservations about marrying other straight women for the same benefits.) If women and their clones want to use emotion to engineer society to suit themselves, you can use logic to at least get the score closer to even. You’d have to be an idiot not to. I know a lot of smart single guys who see this “same-sex” marriage thing as the wave of the future, which can finally benefit them. Why should single people continue to pick up the lion’s share of the tax tab while also missing out on all those benefits, when there’s a legal way to balance things out? There was a time when that “man-woman” thing made sense, from all angles; now it’s just stiffing “someone else” to underwrite the choices women make, including funding that incredibly expensive “vast village” now needed to do all those things women used to do much better by themselves. In a country where half the people don’t pay taxes, such policies in effect force single guys into marriage, which will at least reduce their share of the enormously lop-sided tax burden. So “same-sex” marriage achieves this without all the asinine hassles and costs that come with women, starting with the ring and those obscenely expensive weddings and honeymoons. (And, for God’s sake, keep your money somewhere outside the country where women can’t get Big Daddy Government to confiscate it. The thing that drives all women is to separate guys from their money, any way possible, including using police state powers to rob it from “someone else” in order to give it to “me” – under some welfare program pretext.)
Several studies have shown that male “Millennials” prefer relationships with other males to romantic relationships with women. (Millennials are those born roughly during the twenty years between 1977 and 1996, and are between the ages of 20 and 39 in 2016.) One common study conducted by researchers at Britain’s University of Winchester in 2017 found that heterosexual Millennial men viewed their male friendships as more intimate and fulfilling than their romantic relationships with women. Now I’ll grant that I, as an older guy, personally find contemporary young men today considerably more “effeminate” than those with whom I grew up, and British men even more so. It’s also probable that this and similar other studies are conducted and written by female researchers seeking and describing things through their own prejudiced eyes. (Even the language they use embarrasses me as a man.) For example, the Winchester study found that male friends discussed personal issues, shared secrets, and allowed themselves to be “emotionally vulnerable” with their male buddies. When I was that age I remained available for romantic relationships with women primarily because that was what was expected of me and I did enjoy the company of some women. The underlying purpose of it all, of course, was to find a compatible wife and establish a family with children to support. But I actually preferred to spend free time with one or two close male friends who didn’t require me to jump through a bunch of hoops. Still, I certainly never would have used descriptors like “intimate” and “emotionally vulnerable” with those male friends.
The Winchester study reported that men said the most important thing missing from their relationships with other men (other than sex) was criticism. They found their male friends more forgiving and less judgmental than their female partners, enabling them to talk more honestly and openly about their health, fears, hopes and desires. Of course, male friends know how to talk to each other on a personal level without it being “intimate”, without emasculating the other, without interrogation and demands, without pouting and emotional bartering. They do it by gradually dancing around the key points, usually in a joking manner, mixed in with one or two other topics. Guys don’t need a semester of college courses to learn how to discuss things with men like they have to do with women. (The First Law for men discussing anything with women is, “Always tell them only what you think they want to hear.”) As a result, male friendships are even better for the men’s overall physiological and psychological health than are their relationships with women – which are mostly based on the lies women demand. (The reason men don’t live as long as women is women.) And, of course, confidentiality is far more likely to remain sacrosanct between male friends than it is even between a man and his wife, who can’t resist blabbing what she knows about her mate to HER female confidents. (Maybe some girly men “raised” by women do, but I’ve never heard a male friend reveal intimate secrets about his female partner, which, to me, would have been just gauche, unseemly, certainly nothing a gentleman of substance would do. Your close partners and their behavior are a direct reflection of you and your values. Why would anyone with brains want to diss their own partner? It’s like stupidly dissing yourself. American women obviously don’t abide by such logic and standards; never tell them ANYTHING. When someone feels a need to diss their partner, then the only sensible thing to do is immediately terminate the partnership, preferably before making a fool of yourself.)
If you’re still dead-set on being willfully stupid, consider the following. Over the past half century, ours has become a ravenously narcissistic society based on little more than “me” and “now”, which, of course, is antithetical to any notion of equitable sharing of taking the blame, paying the bills and doing the hard stuff. Anyone who does not consider this nearly universal narcissism and take appropriate precautions is flirting with inevitable disaster. It has become increasingly common, for example, for women to pay someone to snoop around in the background of any prospective date and do an exhaustive background investigation on any prospective mate; men who don’t do the same are just fools. (And don’t worry about her taking offense; it’s just another of the thousands of double standards that now rule our “equality” society. Women who snoop around in the private lives of men are “prudent”; men who do the same with women are “stalkers”.)
Pay special attention to their huge outstanding student loans and credit card balances. With college loans now totaling over a trillion dollars and Big Daddy Government taking so long to come up with another bail-out program similar to the mortgage bail-outs, there’s a huge number of women with college degrees out there, including many as old as thirty-five who have been professional students on America’s socialist utopia campuses their whole lives. The average graduate student’s debt in the US rose to a staggering medium of $57,600 in 2012, and those in humanities and social sciences, mostly women, have debts even higher than that average – which is well above the total average yearly income in America. Such trends are also reflected in undergraduate schools. A lot of those women, many with debts well over $100,000 before ever holding an actual job, are looking for dumb guys they can tolerate long enough to pay off their loans before filing the divorce papers and walking away with the guy’s property, alimony, etc., and get started with their own tax-reducing one-woman “small business” – using favored “minority” group low-cost government loans, naturally. (These are the same type of favored “minority” group low-cost government loans, also handed out mostly to women, that led to the recent real estate implosion, The Great Recession, and all those multi-trillion dollar bail-outs. Big Daddy Government went a bit too far with that one – strongly encouraging women to buy homes insured by the government they couldn’t afford to own and were unable to commit themselves to the long-term adult discipline that responsible home ownership, and its big bills, demand. During the first six or seven years of the 21st century, while most men were focused on stupid wars, women were learning on dozens of very popular daytime talk shows all about the huge pay-offs in “house flipping” – the practice of using all those government assistance programs to buy houses beyond their means just to realize big profits when they quickly sold them to other suckers. When the bubble burst, a lot of women with little or no income were caught holding title to six or seven houses – in a market that had buit over 6,000,000 more houses than the number of people alive who could occupy them.) Big Daddy Government is usually a much more certain bet for such women than dumb guys, but he’s a little hesitant at the moment; just wait until Princess Hillary ascends to the throne on the votes of all those needy responsibility-free women and starts cracking her Queen’s whip.
(By the way, every year the IRS keeps about $1 Billion in unclaimed refunds. The majority of that money is the result of college students with low or part-time incomes failing to follow the law and file a tax return – and thus are not eligible to receive their tax refunds.)
Another excellent indicator of a warped personality is drug use, illegal or legal. (I’m not talking about someone who occasionally has a marijuana smoke.) People do NOT change. You can NOT change them. They do not WANT to change. This is especially true of people who feel they must rely on heavy drugs. These congenital losers are never happy until they’ve dragged everyone around them down to their dead-end gutter level, while blaming them for their own failures, and they will drag you down faster than you can think. Get such people as far out of your life as possible as fast as possible. Do NOT look back. Get on with a real life of your own making. Everyone has choices; make better choices. You are NOT responsible for the free choices of others, nor should you be held liable for those choices.
Marriage is the most important financial decision most people will ever make, and it should be approached with the same gravity and sound thinking that one applies when buying a nice home with a big thirty year mortgage with their own money. Do not EVER think you can change a person after “tying the knot”; people do NOT change what they learned to be during their first 18 years of life, and those years are now overwhelmingly dominated by women creating clones of themselves. Adult people are who they are, and they do NOT “re-invent” themselves to suit anyone else’s desires; they merely build on what they have (while better hiding their flaws). Real life is NOT a fantasy-feeding romance novel. (See Footnote #2.) If people haven’t mastered fundamental principles of personal responsibility before age 18, they never will. Never ever consider marriage to someone, of either gender, who is not gainfully employed in a solid job and with an excellent credit rating and an adult savings plan. Those who don’t have all three are better off marrying Big Daddy Government to achieve their dependence; all that sucker has to do is confiscate the wanted money from “someone else”. And make sure that there’s a provision in the pre-nuptial agreement that either party engaging in infidelity will immediately move out of the home and forgo any and all future financial remuneration, while also meeting their full share of any and all existing financial commitments. (The practice that only the man must always pay a price for infidelity or similar violation of trust and respect is just asinine. Women cheat just as much as men, and the prices they pay should be fully equal to those paid by men.)
Dating Tip: Do not become an offensive bore. Don’t “pursue” her any more than she “pursues” you. I’ve always had a “two-shot” policy in the US. If I see someone I’d like to meet, I’ll give it a shot. If it doesn’t lead anywhere, and I’m still interested, then sometime later, if the opportunity presents itself, I’ll try again. If it still doesn’t click, that’s it; there will be no further waste of my time. There are just too many others out there, so I expect similar considerate behavior from women.
I’ve always had a firm set of my own personal qualifiers for prospective dates, such as not wasting time with anyone I don’t think I’d want to get to know well beyond the first date. (One-night stands are far more trouble than they’re worth.) Women who are married don’t even register in my conscious brain; they are simply invisible to me, off the radar. (Only an idiot would ever trust, or waste time with, a cheater.) I avoid any woman who has been divorced more than once. (Such a woman worships only herself and has zero understanding of responsible adulthood.) Physical attractiveness has always been far down on my list, and this factor gets more useless every year as physical deception becomes ever more possible and popular. (Never ever trust a liar, including someone who goes to any lengths to misrepresent their true appearance with expensive surgery, etc..) For a dinner date I greatly prefer a woman who shows up in a simple practical black skirt, blouse, low-heel pumps and silk scarf over any outfit that costs above $200; expensive clothes do not impress me one bit. (I don’t know any men who are impressed by expensive clothes on women; those stupid expensive costumes are intended only to compete with other empty-shell women. Another good indicator is if she did not buy those $600 glasses she’s wearing at WalMart or CostCo for $50.) I personally also give “extra points” for exceptional intelligence coupled with unique insight far beyond any herd, plus easy comfort in one’s own solid identity. Women who interest me most are those adults who bring useful talents, interests and insights to the table that I don’t, but I suppose it’s also generally better for both people to have similar mental abilities and formal educations. (Favored status in our “education” system is today definitely not an indicator of intelligence; it mainly indicates someone who took advantage of much lower standards. And those ridiculous pure-white doll-teeth, evoking puppet machines with faulty software, do not exist in nature. Every time I see them I’m reminded of Howdy Doody or Charlie MacArthy, and if the person is also coated with one of those way-too-dark fake tans, there’s Al Jolson doing “Mammy”.) (Look them up.)
(Furthermore, as a life-long professional soldier, I can state unequivocally that tattoos, other body mutilations, and “body jewelry” are strictly for morons, of either gender, who are also insecure in their own human identity. My country is already overflowing with twisted freaks on every street corner; why would any sane guy want to waste personal time with one who can’t even figure out what species they are? In America everyone has the right to be as uniquely stupid as they want to be, and I will always assert my right to not have that unique stupidity imposed on me.)
“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.” – The 14th Dalai Lama (Tenzin Gyatso) (1935-present), Tibetan Buddhist monk.
But a few of my qualifiers for something as important as marriage are universal, applying to everyone everywhere. Very good signs when dating prospective marriage partners are such behavioral indicators as (1) punctuality, (2) honesty and truthfulness, (3) selection of income-appropriate venues and gifts, (4) dressing appropriate to venue, (5) listening as much as speaking, and (6) easy readiness to pay an equitable share of date costs. (Tally what is said; if it’s all, or overwhelmingly, about “me”, say your good-bye as fast as possible.) Anyone who flunks any of these six indicators is NOT a prospective marriage partner for someone with brains; each of them reveals volumes about the person and how they interact equitably with others. I do not exist to make allowances for those unwilling to deliver just as much as they want me to deliver.
Also, I am an adult who has earned his place in society. Keep a respectful distance, look me straight in my eyes, and shake my hand. Do NOT move in for a hug and a kiss. If you are a women, we may mutually get to that stuff somewhere down the road, but, in the meantime, please don’t intrude into my personal space (or “sexually assault” me).
Dating Tip: I never buy my way into relationships by offering to pay for drinks or dinner, etc.. This is not 1950. In today’s America there’s a pretty good chance that she’s earning as much as I am, or more, so she certainly can afford to pay her own way just as well as I can. This is especially true in privileged places like the Washington DC or New York areas. The last thing I want is someone interested in nothing more than my money.
If you so much as burp after dinner, assume that it will be the centerpiece of the detailed account of the entire evening that she will blab to every other woman she knows, naturally with her own self-serving embellishment. It’s a given, goes with the territory. Never tell an American woman anything that you don’t want broadcast to the entire world or used against you later; the fact that trust is a two-way street is totally beyond an American woman’s comprehension. Trust and respect are things women believe they are simply entitled to because of an accident of birth, the difference of a single chromosome even before they were born; there is nothing in their “thinking” that says they have to actually earn trust and respect like you do every day – again, because of a similar accident of birth. The whole “birthright entitlement” construct is, of course, insane, and incredibly self-serving. But that’s the way it is; reveal anything truthful to them at your own peril. (And don’t be a fool: When they want to know things about you, they’re not interested in you at all. What they’re looking for is stuff they can either blackmail you with or blab to all their girlfriends.) Just keep in mind that she has been raised her entire life taught by women that your gender automatically makes you “the enemy”, the “evil oppressor”, whose every effort to get ahead is a “sexist attack on her personally”, etc., and thus also the dumb open-season sucker for however she decides to “get even” and win points with all her “eternal victim” sisters. I know one twisted woman who so loved to spill secrets to her girlfriends that she never bothered to consider that one of those friends was the wife of her husband’s boss. She never considered the “unintended consequences” of her stupidity, that for years she was directly undermining her own husband’s career, and thus working directly against her own family’s advancement, income and happiness. American women literally wallow in their self-proclaimed victimhood, which makes everything else they do or do not do to the “oppressor” completely excusable. All of this, plus the fact that she also expects you to idolize her for all her glorious perfection, makes perfect sense, in her warped mind. An American woman does not “have your back”, and never will, either while dating, at home, or on the job. She is “special”; you are “expendable”. Get it? It’s “equality”. Just accept it, and act smartly. (Keep telling them all the usual lies they demand to hear about themselves, and they’ll even believe them. “I only want MY truth!”)
“Men hate those to whom they have to lie.” – Victor Hugo
I have always been quite selective with the friends I make and maintain, so I have never known a man who spoke disparagingly about the women in his life, past or present. If they had, I would have regarded the act as a serious character flaw, and not just because it would have been exceedingly indiscrete. Since your friendships speak volumes about yourself, I would have regarded such a man as unworthy of my friendship. Such an act would also have been artless and even stupid. After all, such relationships also reflect on the man who engages in them. (If the guy was involved with someone with so many flaws, it’s a safe bet that he shares many of the same flaws.)
On the other hand, I cannot recall having met an American women who did not do so, as though it is a widely accepted way for them to ingratiate themselves to me. That many women seem to so revel in blabbing such things, and even significantly embellishing them, down to intimate details and always to their own “advantage”, of course, is one of the things that most disgusts me about American women. Some women even go to the extreme of writing whole books about their former relationships, and the more famous the man, the more embarrassing to him is her salacious chronicle. (It’s even better if they do it after the guy is dead and can no longer defend himself. I shudder to think what self-aggrandizing version they told to their similarly minded women friends.) Assuming all that stuff is true, then you have to wonder what kind of twisted woman would ever get involved with such a person in the first place – which inevitably leads to serious questions about the woman’s own judgments and motivations all along. So, while I have met many such women, I never bothered to get to know any. Why would anyone bother with someone who so readily reveals that she cannot be trusted?
So I personally have a low tolerance of anyone who speaks disrespectfully or disparagingly about a current or former mate behind their back or after they’re gone. No one is forcing anyone to do anything. If the person entered into an extended relationship with another person, then they both share in what became of that relationship. (Usually it’s due to the superficiality of what attracted them in the first place, the real basis for the relationship. For men, it’s usually attractiveness. For women, it’s usually money.) If a relationship went south, then an honest explanation would be, “I was stupid. I thought that I could change him (or her) into the person I wanted for me. That was just too arrogant a presumption.” People do not change fundamentally who they are after about age 18. But they do change in small ways over time; it’s the responsibility of both partners to be adult enough to recognize this and make mutual adjustments accordingly – or part amicably. If you’re too much of a coward to say it to his face, then don’t say it. And if you do, then you definitely are no better than your target. (I’ve noticed that, in the age of anonymous internet “communications”, cowards are cheaper by the million. A thinking man has to wonder where they learn such spineless girly behavior, usually well before age 15.)
In sum, I personally place a very high value on trust, and view betrayal as among the most despicable forms of human behavior. Anyone who so betrays a former confidant certainly wouldn’t hesitate to also betray me, and who needs that? (It’s a logic thing. It works with cheaters, too: “If she cheats on him, she will cheat on me.” You can take it to the bank.) If the line “stand by your man” (or woman) embarrasses or offends you, then you have very serious character flaws rendering you unworthy of friendships, much less trust. Chose your relationships carefully, and then measure up to them. Life without a relationship is far better than a relationship without trust.
Daddies of little girls are becoming an increasing problem, too. (“Little girls” include all females aged 12 to 35.) Fathers are now even required to throw their “inherently evil” sons under the bus, while risking life, limb and bankruptcy to protect and promote their “special” daughters. And some of them go really overboard. Sometimes when you see such jerks laying claim to fake Neanderthal machismo by raising all sorts of hell, threatening all manner of violence, with such hyper-inflated righteous indignation, you have to wonder what’s really going on. Stop and think about it. Their professed “enemies” are evil men who would dare besmirch their pristine lily white and all-perfect daughters – “evil” men just like themselves? Have such ridiculous guys become Hamlet’s mother within the play – “The lady doth protest too much, methinks” – to conceal their own guilt? And, of course, American daughters, too, are free to make their own choices, while conveniently dodging responsibility for those choices. So those daddies of little girls are just throwing more fuel on the fire, thoroughly aggravating an already asinine situation by convincing all those quite marginal women that they really are “special”.
Just which idiot put “special” in equal?!
Here’s something from the University of Amsterdam for all you “special” people out there to explain why you are so insufferable. Researchers there studied 565 children ranging from 7 to 12 years old and how their parents interacted with them; they published their findings in March 2015. They confirmed what had been universal common knowledge up until the magical arrival of the glorious Baby Boomers in the 1960s.* Moms and dads who heap unearned praise on their children, by constantly telling them they are “special” or “exceptional”, wind up raising self-centered brats. “Children become more narcissistic when they are put on a pedestal, when they are given the feeling that they are more “special”, more “entitled”, more “unique”, than others,” says U of A researcher Eddie Brummelman. Narcissists often demand special treatment and find setbacks intolerable and humiliating. They reflexively seek to shift blame for their own failures, their own bad choices, their own ill-advised behavior. They are more violent than other people and are at a high risk of drug addiction and depression. The best way for parents to boost kids’ self-esteem, the study found, is to simply show them – girls AND boys – a lot of warmth and affection – to make them feel valued, not superior. Well, duh. But now, of course, we all know that girls are more valuable than boys, by huge factors, and that boys simply “create themselves”, right there on the street corner. (*This is when American women threw out a century of previous social science, claiming that it had unfairly favored males while disadvantaging females, and set about creating their very own world of self-serving “science”. Throughout posts on this blog you will find my repeated statements, based on solid empirical science that existed prior to the Boomers, that men are created between the ages of 7 and 12 – and these days they are created almost exclusively by women, making clones of themselves.)
There is zero “special” in equal. If she makes the marriage proposal, do not hesitate to ask the same questions and expect the same inducements that a women would if the roles were reversed. Will she be able to provide you the life you deserve? Will she purchase a nice residence suitable for you to entertain all your friends in lavish parties? Will the honeymoon be in Paris or Rome? What terms does she want in the prenuptial agreement? If you accept the ring she offers, make certain to have it appraised immediately. Plan on inviting your entire football team to the wedding (which she or her mother will fund). Etc.. There is no law, yet, that says you can’t claim her view of such things as your own. Since children are the only justifiable reason today for a marriage, rather than for a tax-lowering business partnership, the pre-nuptial agreement should include a commitment by one party to devote themselves full time in the home to the proper raising of those children through age 18. To do otherwise is to cheat both the children and society for one’s own myopic self-interests. If neither party is willing to make such a responsible commitment, then they have zero business having children, and thus no real justification for marriage. No matter how you try to rationalize nonsense, marriage then is just a temporary scam serving “me” and “now”, no different from many other cheap scams that now characterize our whole infantile narcissistic society, damned the children, damned what happens tomorrow to all of us. It’s all about glorious “me” (and, of course, the money).
“Employed” and “mother” are two separate full-time endeavors, with the “mother” role by far the more important regardless of which gender plays the “mother” role. That’s just the way the Real Life is. Anyone trying to do both at the same time is short-changing both, requiring a plethora of others to pick up both the slack and the bills while also having to endure the constant whining. “Having it all” is a self-serving delusion that short-changes everyone, and especially the children. No one is forcing American women to do ANYTHING. Is it really too much to ask that they assume some adult responsibility for their own free choices and their own elective behavior – and then live with them? “Either-or / in succession / or not – just do it and shut up! But don’t try to do both at the same time and then blame everyone else for the consequences of your own decisions. If you can’t live with your own decisions, then don’t make them!” A half century of everyone else listening, and bending, to all this incessant childish nonsense is enough. It’s time to grow up. With each and every one of all those rights comes a corresponding responsibility – for others and for society.
Basically, when women took logic out of education, they turned our whole society into one humongous mess of nonsensical mush, one that makes sense only to a schizophrenic. These are people who get all bent out of shape when a known crazy uses guns purchased by his mother to kill small children in a tax supported school, and yet remain silent when a licensed doctor for years uses surgical tools purchased by the taxpayer to kill babies in a tax supported abortion clinic. And they want guys like me to continue paying the prices of their lunacy? It’s just “whatever emotional women want”, at any given moment, to serve themselves. These self-involved aliens can rationalize literally anything, in their own minds. And that dogma is now central to their forced indoctrination program they begin imposing on males at birth – resulting in a whole society now “evolving” in reverse, to sanctify the feminine “me”, on the basis of absolutely nothing.
“In questions of science, the authority of thousands of opinions is not worth the humble reasoning of a single man.” – Galileo Galilei (1564-1642), Italian physicist, philosopher and astronomer.
Trust a man who knows better than most: The very last thing a thinking man wants to experience is standing there facing the abyss and asking, “Is this all there is?” Think ahead, way ahead, and don’t ever settle for less than you are – for any asinine social construct serving others at your expense. Be willing to bend, but not one centimeter more than half way, and figure out before it’s too late how to know when it’s time to move on. Admittedly neither of my marriages were all that lengthy, but when viewed objectively it’s difficult to say that they added much to my life’s equation. Even with all the government policies and programs now assisting women to meet their parenting responsibilities, even with all the higher taxes singles pay to subsidize those with children, for a guy in the US being married is a much bigger and costlier hassle than being single, and just to get negative returns on the huge investment. And this considers that I’ve always, since age 15, cleaned my own home, washed my own windows, cooked my own dinners, did my own laundry, handled my own finances, bought my own groceries, conducted my own shopping trips, etc., while holding down a decidedly “masculine” 24/7 job and doing all the other things that men are expected to do – from cutting the grass to repairing the house.
Except for a couple of brief forays into the world of marriage, I’ve lived my entire healthy heterosexual life as a reasonably content single man, and I can’t remember ever once stopping in the middle of some chore I was doing to conclude that it would be better if there was a woman around to do it instead, and certainly no chore that was worth anywhere near the required costs of involving a woman in it. On the contrary, an objective analysis always concluded that the full costs were enormously less when I just did it myself and moved on. For a woman to make a positive contribution to my life, she’d have to bring valuable talents to the equation that I lack and a willingness to apply those talents equitably – something that became impossible in America somewhere around 1970.
I’ve been doing my own household chores, inside and out, all my life. Here’s a secret: All it requires is a little sense of personal responsibility and an IQ of about 50. Think about it. How difficult is it to throw the dishes or the clothes in a machine? How hard is it to sponge off the table, vacuum the carpet, take out the trash? Do you really need a mommy? If you do it yourself, you can do it on your schedule, to your standards, only when it actually needs doing, and without having to listen to all that whining and complaining crap from someone else every ten minutes. Who needs that? If things get a little out-of-hand, you can always hire some pros to come in every year or so to do a thorough job. (If your home is always a real mess, you’re just a spoiled child who needs a mommy; your future is not bright, so just expect to be a life-long loser.) There’s something to be said for cleaning up your own messes, especially if, like me, you really hate cleaning up the messes of others. You’ll soon discover that, if you don’t need someone else to handle that really petty stuff, there probably is other petty stuff for which you also don’t someone else. I did. The only thing you need someone else for is to bring to the equation things you can’t do, or can’t do well, that won’t cost you an arm and a leg and an ulcer. And if you can’t find someone like that, then why bother with any of it?
Now, I’m not a neat freak, but my home is always presentable enough to invite guests in without much embarrassment. My current home is a quite nice and rather large place I designed and built myself on land I bought many years earlier; I’ve since added a spacious two-car detached garage, additional living space, 150 TV channels, and several other amenities. A steady lengthy investment, I couldn’t afford to buy the place today, which is impressive for a guy who spent most of his life overseas living out of post office boxes. The presence of a wife in my life was always irrelevant (unless she was having one of those embarrassing “hissy fits”). I have also always had a triple-A credit rating while living comfortably enough within my means with zero help from anywhere. I have always been a responsible adult, have always accepted full accountability for the consequences of my own choices. I can’t remember the last time I thought that having a woman around would make anything in my life any easier or cheaper or even much of a net improvement. So I figure that, as a single man, I’m still coming out on the plus side on hassles and costs compared to being married today to an American women and footing the bills for needy American daughters. I guess I don’t really need a whining woman in my life, any more than I need a copy of myself. (I suppose this makes me “old-fashioned”.) If you want to marry me, you better be able to bring something to the table that actually is useful to my life. (One area of possibility is cooking; I just can’t bring myself to waste a lot of time preparing fancy meals. If you have useful talents that I lack, that’s also a good sign.) I haven’t met an American woman in decades who could actually improve my life in any meaningful way; such valuable adult women no longer exist. Today even the potential of pleasant company ends up getting lost behind the lifestyle and financial costs associated with it. There’s just so much petty demanding bullshit that I’m willing to bear these days, so my personal balance sheet tips enormously against the realities of contemporary marriage. I pity those poor younger guys who are stuck with an incessantly whining wife and kids in today’s twisted world and constantly wonder why they bother. I guess some guys are just well-trained masochists who need a mommy – to “keep up appearances” demanded by women. (Here’s a hint for women: Stop trying to find the “perfect guy”. The perfect guy doesn’t need you.)
“I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.” – Henry David Thoreau (commenting on the benefits of both intelligence and self-reliance).
Beyond sex and children, the only thing that I’ve ever needed from a woman, since age 15, is occasional complimentary companionship of the intelligent non-hassle variety – someone who brings useful things to the equation that I don’t, someone who is just as supportive of me as she wants me to be of her, someone I can trust and respect because she actually earns that trust and respect. I haven’t encountered that in the US for decades. It’s a fool’s errand. American women are simply far too wrapped up in themselves with all their inherent perfection and infallibility and superiority and rights and choices and unearned birthright entitlements and government assistance, not to mention all that incessant whining, blame-shifting, and competition with other women, and all those demands and wants for “me”, coupled with that “eternal victim” status neatly absolving them of responsibility, ad nauseam. I’m sorry, but I checked; I just do not have, or want to have, a “feminine side”, any more than women have, or want to have, a “masculine side”. Neither should you. But that still doesn’t stop women from demanding that men, beginning as boys, become copies of them, “to make my life easier.” (Some women claim that wanting men to “get in touch with their feminine side” means that men should be more forthcoming with what’s really on their minds. That, of course, is just bullshit. What’s on my mind is writ large on these pages. How many women do you think enjoy reading it? The truth is that women only want men to tell them what they want to hear, that makes them feel better about themselves, even if it’s all just the usual bullshit. In other words, women really just want men to be their little brainless puppets. Sorry, ladies; that’s just not me, either.) If you’re a thinking man with a spine, the chances of finding a woman in the US you can endure for longer than a month is about 1 in 500,000. Those are loser odds, too. (They are not impossible odds, just extremely improbable.)
The Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn ladies are gone forever.
For 95% of married American men, marriage has become a stupid charade in which they participate out of some sense of obligation to society, a legal convention, an enforced habit. There is zero benefit to any intelligent man in perverting who he is solely to fit into some self-involved woman’s dictate of who she wants him to be, solely to assume responsibility for all the choices she makes, all the rights she claims, all the behavior in which she engages, for herself. Very many of our supremely self-involved women don’t even want to engage in the most important function for which they were specifically designed – having and raising the children that enable society to survive – and thus even demand that others do such things for them, too. How pathetic is that? That’s why they are so very supportive of things like uncontrolled immigration and abortion and the “vast village”, i.e., exercising their plethora of rights and choices and power to get “someone else” to pay the bills, take the blame and do the hard stuff for “very special me”. Their ultimate dream is that shown in “The Island” (2005) – if they can find “someone else” to pick up the tab for cloning themselves. “Look! It’s me, in all my exquisite perfection!” (See Footnote #5.)
The very best response that an American man has ever delivered to an American woman dates all the way back to 1865: “… I was never one to patiently pick up the broken fragments and glue them together and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken – and I’d rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived. Perhaps if I were younger…”, he sighed. “But I’m too old to believe in such sentimentalities as clean slates and starting all over. I’m too old to shoulder the burden of constant lies that go with living in polite disillusionment. I couldn’t live with you and lie to you, and I certainly couldn’t lie to myself. I can’t even lie to you now. I wish I could care what you do or where you go, but I can’t.”
The words were spoken by Rhett Butler, standing in the rubble of the antebellum South, in his last words to a still self-involved and birthright-entitled Scarlett O’Hara: “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” It was a woman, Margaret Mitchell, who recorded those words in 1936 and saw them repeated by Clark Gable in her “Gone With The Wind” (1939). They could just as easily be delivered today, to the same woman, in the rubble of what was once a great society. No one’s fool, Rhett remained, as real men do, true to his own man, to the man he always was, and left Scarlett to her own fantasies and delusions. What’s gone is gone. It was reduced to rubble in the winds of two separate wars, one to end slavery, and the other to advance “feminism”. Women have made their bed; now they can lie in it, alone. “I wish I could care what you do or where you go, but I can’t.”
Tap into the wisdom of Jonathan Franzen (See “Free As A Bird“). Find some worthwhile endeavor you enjoy and marry it. Give your life a purpose actually worth pursuing. Don’t waste your life going through all the thankless motions required of some self-involved woman’s twisted twit puppet forever being forced into her fantasy mold. I became a professional soldier. You can become the world’s top expert on the birds at Moss Landing. Spend your spare time, as I do, building and maintaining with your own hands a nice home in the mountains. A good dog by the fireplace is a hundred times a better companion than an incessantly whining, demanding American woman. You’ll be the better man for it, living a life on your own terms. Freedom is great, but it’s not enough. Become an expert at something women don’t like to do, and triple what you charge to do it for them. Use your brains to best market your own native talents. After dedicating yourself to a worthwhile purpose, the only real challenge is a proper ending. Besides, she is obviously much more interested in marrying Big Daddy Government anyway, entitled as she demands to her guaranteed dependency, and then using that bully brute to force you into the cage she has already constructed for you in her own mind.
Notice that I, as is customary, use the label “feminist” to assign responsibility for certain forces in my society. But this is actually a common dodge, one which gives a huge number of “other” women a free pass. Since all women benefit from the demands of these self-serving fanatics, no women has ever voiced objection to them. ALL women are thus culpable, for their own self-interests, despite their incredulous claims to the contrary. American women don’t give a damned about the other half and accept no responsibility for anything, so the smartest thing you can do is conduct an objective cost-benefit analysis and make your decisions accordingly, as a thinking man.
I remember a time in America when many tens of thousands of men were competing intensely in each of hundreds of very tough arenas to invent, develop, build and market the Next Big Thing that would move America forward and enrich all mankind for generations to come. These people seized on Henry Ford’s thinking and became “The Greatest Generation.” What drove almost all of them was a burning desire to better provide for, and ensure the futures of, their families – by dreaming big, working hard and taking really great risk. They were able to do this by maximizing the ability of the traditional family unit to equitably divide labor and share responsibility for the benefit of all. That mutually supportive solid foundation at the lowest level is what made it all both possible and worthwhile. For both men and women, it was a purpose with value.
Now all I see are millions of hand-holding twits demanding a “right” to jump on what a very tiny few men manage to accomplish on their own, demanding their birthright quota of free rides on the backs of others, and almost all of those things were either built by the Greatest Generation, involve moving around or spending wealth inherited from the Greatest Generation, or revolve around paying others to do simple stuff one could do just as well if not better themselves, all while playing with little talking toys. To me, it all seems like the story of mankind rising from apes picking fleas off each other’s backs while sharing nonsensical emotional stories to do great and wonderful things all over the planet, even traveling to other celestial bodies up there in the heavens, only to return, full circle, to those apes sitting around picking fleas off each others’ backs while sharing nonsensical emotional stories. The parents made the journey, and their children arrived at where it began. (Just imagine the sickening specter of infantile women trumpeting in 2012 a women becoming a member of a private men’s golf club – as if it was still 1952, SIXTY YEARS AGO!, on a constant automatic re-play loop. Three generations on, and no one now has a brain large enough to ask why a man isn’t “achieving” the same “accomplishment” quota by “breaking through” in a private woman’s golf club – if this is now the supremely pathetic measure of “greatness”. It’s all about rights in the playpen; zero responsibility, or rational thought, involved in the real world. It’s all enough to drive a thinking “white guy” stark raving mad. A whole nation – that never got past age seven.)
Is this really all there is? Why bother? “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” But guys who are stupid, and like being stupid, are certainly free to go ahead and play the game women have created for themselves. Join the grazing herd; Farmer Jones will feed and milk you as long as you’re useful for something. (Even brainless herds feeding at the trough do produce huge amounts of methane and manure, until the feed runs out.) Just please spare those of us with brains your nauseating complaints and your sanctimonious judgments while doing nothing to improve your own condition. Some of us have more worthwhile things to do with our own brief lives, and those things do not involve being imposed upon by twisted “values” and illogical constructs serving “special” others. The intent of democracy was something equitable for all of us, including those who must follow us; it was not some perverted tyranny of the irresponsible whining majority thinking only of itself. (Don’t despair, ladies. Thanks to their mothers, there’s a LOT of really stupid guys out there, and their numbers are growing by the minute. And they’ve been very well trained to tell you all the really stupid lies you could ever demand to hear.)
P.S. If you understand demographics (plus just a little basic math), you know that our disdain for having and raising healthy and well-educated children in traditional two-gender families equitably dividing labor and sharing responsibility was the seed of our own self-destruction. That was immediately followed by a failure to properly and responsibly educate all of our young in the best interests of the nation’s future. So there really isn’t much sense in continuing to play stupid games in a society that has no future anyway. The only things that have kept us going for the past forty years is trillions of borrowed dollars and countless millions of imported babies, but even those numbers were never enough; as our rampant narcissism also infects immigrants, their fertility rate is also dropping far below sustainability levels. And no one seems willing to put into properly raising and teaching those children what is needed to do the job responsibly, much less to dramatically reduce the size of all their burgeoning entitlements. (It’s not just immigrant workers needed for all those tough jobs that go vacant while millions of the “special” natives collect unemployment benefits; even far more important are immigrant babies the “special” natives don’t want to have and raise who become future taxpayers needed to pay for all those birthright entitlements also garnered by the “special” natives. This is why “feminists” so strongly support completely unrestricted immigration and all those government benefits for “families”; they are getting government to pay for the natural procreation activities they are now too “special” to do themselves. Of course, once women divested themselves of their natural procreation function, there is absolutely nothing left on which to base that asinine “special” status they claim for themselves – except a whole mountain of self-serving bullshit.) We are now barely floating in a stinking sinking ship of lies … that has no life line.
When women convinced themselves that they could absurdly “have it all”, their first task was to get “someone else” to pick up all those hard parts with which they no longer wanted to be bothered. When men fell a bit short of their demands, they turned to government. Fine. Let them marry government to achieve their utopian “happiness” and “have it all”. Just leave me out of the equation. So I, for one, think it will be entirely appropriate to have one of our incredibly self-involved “feminists” exercising her quota “right” to be at the helm when the American ship slips ignominiously beneath the waves. In her final declaration, she is absolutely certain to blame all those evil men. American “feminism” was never about equality; it was always all about privilege, for “me”. The American experiment was done in by huge herds worshiping themselves; the “evolution” of “marriage” was integral to that religion of the self. (See Footnote #6.)
Ultimately, in the final analysis, we are all alone. Deal with it.
“Love is like any other luxury: You have no right to it unless you can afford it.” – British novelist Anthony Trollope (“Barchester Towers”, etc.), who also lived and wrote in Ireland, 1844-1859, during the Famine Years.
“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you won’t do anything with it.” – American author M. Scott Peck (“The Road Less Traveled”). (You’ll find many of Peck’s worthy principles running throughout the articles posted here, but it was not Peck, or his thinking, that put them there – long before Lieutenant Colonel Peck, a Silent Generation member, became a world-famous US Army psychiatrist.)
_____________________________________________________________ Footnote #1. The Royal Coronation(s).
It’s small wonder that American women go through two or three or more weddings in a lifetime; they’ve managed to turn this, too, into a major business serving “very special me”. The average American wedding in 2014 costs an obscene $32,000, with average costs very much higher in some areas (almost $80,000 in Manhattan) – for a phony social ritual worshipping “me” that lasts only a few hours. Allow me to repeat that: That’s the AVERAGE cost of each wedding performed in America every year. Some cost even more, some a little less. Most brides spend an average of $1,400 alone on their wedding dress. And all just to impress other women for several hours at a party that does little more than start arguments among guests that will last decades. It’s just one more example of the extreme narcissism of our “special” women – all ludicrously decked out in incredibly expensive “virgin” white – to lavishly celebrate the sealing of a tenuous business partnership that has much less than a 50-50 chance of enduring. The American “wedding-industrial complex” is now a $70 Billion, and steadily growing, annual business sector in which the really stupid groom is little more than a requisite prop, easily exchanged for each succeeding extravagant ceremony – a business sector that is nothing more than pure waste. By comparison, the United States has the world’s most incredibly expensive costs just to deliver a baby (a universally natural procedure that has been conducted routinely since the dawn of mankind), and yet the sum of the costs of all the approximately four million annual childbirths in America adds up to ‘only’ $50 Billion – $20 Billion less than the cost of weddings! How’s that for a statement about priorities? And those average wedding costs rise every year, and not at all due to inflation.
(The above does not include the costs to those involved who are not getting married. The average cost paid by a guest to a wedding in 2015 is $700. Young adults (25-34) spend about $900, and they can expect to attend three weddings per year. Then there are those bridesmaid dresses and tux rentals, “showers” and other pre-wedding events that go along with this ever-evolving money-machine ritual well made for the birthright entitled nobility class.)
It never occurs to such women that the wedding money could be far better spent on paying off their student loans, or as the foundation of a tuition fund for their own children, or the down payment on a home, or assisting an American boy to attend a decent boys school that can send him, too, to college. These are the same despicable “birthright entitled” royal princesses who believe that it’s important for the government to pay the cost of their own birth control choices as a matter of “women’s health”, to pick up the costs of raising their own children, to underwrite the costs of all their own lifestyle choices, to offer them a plethora of welfare programs, to subsidize their own elective behavior. It’s small wonder that such women are incessantly demanding that “someone else” pay the bills, take the blame and do the hard stuff for “very special me”. The only thing certain to come out of such vulgar self-involvement is that the highest price of it all will be paid by any children who result from the fleeting partnerships. It simply defies the rational mind why any sane man would want to get anywhere near such delusional self-serving creatures. Our society would be far better off if the government simply handed these women at age 18 a cheap mirror and instructed them to go marry themselves. At least that would be honest.
Here’s a suggestion for fathers: Tell the kids when they reach age 15 that the maximum they can expect from dad for a wedding is $500. Then add that, if the marriage endures the first two years without collapse, or if there is no marriage by age 28, he will assist them to make the down payment on a new home by matching what they have saved, three-to-one, after they have paid off their own loans. A sound investment in the future beats hand down a splurge on egoistic hedonism. Tell your daughter that it is NOT your purpose in life to hyper-inflate her entirely fake status among her superficially flighty girlfriends – all of whom also “gave themselves” to someone else many years earlier, on the cheap. There is no “special” in equal. And “equal” does NOT mean that you get to pick and choose only the good stuff, while leaving all the hard stuff to “someone else”.
Not being stupid, I NEVER accept invitations to weddings. Why participate in the scam?
Footnote #2. The Role Of Fantasy. Romance novels play the exact same role in women’s fantasies as does pornography in men’s fantasies. Both serve as escapism from the routine boredom and realities of daily life. One is predominantly feminine emotional, while the latter is predominantly masculine visual. The former champions the notion of the beautiful damsel in distress being rescued by the handsome prince on the white horse followed by blissful life ever after in the castle on the hill, while the latter envisions a permanently perfect and submissive eighteen-year-old Scarlett Johansson ever eager to do her master’s bidding. While both constitute equally profitable industries, women have succeeded in vilifying the latter while promoting the former in our society (even though smart women profit handsomely from both). Everyone snickers over some guy’s visual porn, but no one ever mentions some woman’s emotional porn. Men know that their fantasies are totally unrealistic, perhaps even illegal, and completely unobtainable, but women actually believe that their fantasies are obtainable, that they are “special” and fully worthy of the handsome prince ever ensuring that they live the care-free lives of princesses. At the same time, women are incessantly demanding “equality”, when what they really demand is princess privilege. Of course, nowhere is it written that women need to be conversant in logic, in rational reasoning. It’s a situation absolutely guaranteed to present enormous problems when Fantasy meets Real Life in a marriage. It’s been decades since I met a man with brains whose marriage was not based solely on his willingness to recite all the mandated lies all the time, while taking all the blame, paying all the bills and doing all the hard stuff for his “privileged princess”. Who needs that? Only a man who loves his children. When women finish reversing the roles in our society, marriage inevitably will be relegated to the dustbin of history. Does anyone really think women, interested only in themselves, are ever going to tell men all the stupid lies they want to hear? (Think about it.)
Footnote #3. Just Say “No”. At this point I probably should answer a question a lot of younger guys seem to have these days. Assuming both of you are old enough to know what you’re doing, if she wants to have sex, and you’re not really in to it, say so! It is NOT any reflection on your “manhood” to beg off. Despite all the mental midgets out there who are, you are NOT some stupid trained monkey who is supposed to “perform” on demand. You have just as much a right to say “No” as she does, and you do NOT have to offer some lame excuse, nor do you have to “apologize” for anything. You certainly don’t have to be rude, but your “feelings” are no less important than hers. She is not “offering herself” any more than you are. If she doesn’t turn you on, it’s not your fault, and it’s not her fault. It’s just the incredible diversity of humans.
An independently thinking man with character knows that there are other things in life that are more enjoyable than sex, and they’re all legal. Any fool who thinks it’s all about sex is exactly that – a fool – and one who will probably spend his life making stupid mistakes. Like all things in life that are enjoyable, sex is best taken in moderation (and only when both participants are in complete synch – which is rarely the case).
I’ve always been a quite healthy and energetic heterosexual guy, but I’ve still always had a mental (or psychological) list of things about women that are guaranteed to simply turn me off. That’s just the way I am, and it’s just stupid to try to “muddle through” anyway. Sex worth having is a matter of chemistry, the proper mix on both sides at the same moment, and that magic mix doesn’t happen every day at the drop of a hat – whenever she decides. Even despite that Viagra stuff (which essentially deprives men of an excuse to beg off and forces them to “muddle through” anyway), over 15% of married couples haven’t had sex in over a year. There’s a lot more to it than jumping through demanded or expected hoops. You are not a brainless programmed machine. If you’re just not into it and she starts tossing out insults, etc., just leave; such behavior has shown you enough to know that you don’t have to waste time with her again. You haven’t “failed” at anything. If she doesn’t show you the same respect she demands for herself, she simply isn’t worth your time. Period. If she later spreads asinine labels about you, let it slide; it will probably play to your advantage later – at a time, place and person of your choosing, with someone actually worth your time. Be your own man; think for yourself. Don’t be a stupid programmed monkey! (I have no idea why this is so difficult for guys to grasp anymore. Where do they learn the nonsense they do? They certainly don’t learn it from any actual men. Men do NOT exist to serve the capricious wants of women any more than the reverse is true.)
And what’s all that hugging about? Women hug, and kiss, and touch, and all the rest of that effeminate fawning and sniffing stuff. Men, real men, shake hands, firmly, while looking the other person straight in the eyes. Guys hugging other guys, or women, while avoiding eye contact is just really really creepy. Regardless of who you are, do NOT ever try to hug me – unless I give you permission to intrude into my respectful space, which is extremely unlikely. Otherwise, regardless of your gender, I am just as likely to push you away smartly as charge you with assault. I am not your mommy. If the time and circumstance are right, I may hug, or kiss, or both, a very close family member, or someone with whom I am in an established intimate relationship. Period.
For the record: I am a grown-up heterosexual man, and I have zero doubt about it. I do not have a “feminine side”, nor do I want one. Very comfortable in my own skin, I do not possess one tiny bit of shame or “conflict” about my “gender identity”, about who and what I am. I am my father’s confident son; I am not my mother’s twisted clone – and I apologize to no one for that fact. I do not want to wear the stupid shoes women wear, or anything else that American women adorn themselves with, and can’t imagine why anyone would. If you can’t measure up to my standards, then I suggest you try harder. (I also have a rather low tolerance for whiny wusses, including those “macho” boobs who try to hide it behind a lot of blustery noise but never actually do anything to back it up.) I recognize that men like me, thanks to the deliberate design of pathetic women, are a rapidly declining minority. If you have a problem with any of this, I suggest you get over it, or keep your sexist hatred to yourself at least until I and my minority group are gone.
If you want my respect, my trust, then earn it, with adult behavior that is appropriate to me, as a man, who is definitely not embarrassed by who and what he is. (This is just another part of that relentless arrogant women’s crusade to turn men into conflicted copies of “very special me”. “If you can’t best them, kill them.” And self-involved women have been doing an excellent job of that, from the moment boys are born onward.) (Did you ever notice those TV camera people who, when recording subjects they don’t like, get the lens right up in their pores, their left eyeball, or look up their noses – so close that it just makes you uncomfortable? I find myself subconsciously trying to push the TV set back away from me. Just what are those camera creeps doing – trying to lift the guy’s wallet, checking out his junk? No one gets that close to others in real life unless they’re in bed together or the object of some really offensive groper who belongs in a cage. Back off!)
Footnote #4. Give Me A Break. Recently a whole herd of childish idiots all over the country took offense with perfectly innocent after-thought comments made by the President about the woman Attorney General of California. After describing her as brilliant, dedicated and tough, the poor guy added that she was also “the best looking attorney general in the country” – the very type of compliment (almost always just the usual required lie) American men are trained to make about American women throughout their entire lives, the kind of lies they demand, the reason they spend trillions of dollars trying to garner. The p.c. police went into overdrive, like brainless Pavlovian dogs trained for a half century to salivate to certain conditioned stimuli. A typical reaction was, “No accomplished man faces suspicion he got ahead only because he’s hot.” Of course, the President made no such stupid implication. Besides, we all know that good looks are just as much a factor in politics and similar inane popularity contests for men as for women, especially in this age of manufactured appearances. But while the negative herd reaction to a man’s compliment about a woman’s looks may have had some minor validity around 1960, today it’s just a phony smoke screen running on mindless auto-pilot in order to hide far uglier truths. (Besides, everyone knows that a woman’s attractive looks always place her at an advantage over others in obtaining recognition, employment and celerity status in American society – by other women and by men. Just try counting the number of average-looking women who appear every day as talking heads on the Fox News Channel over a 24-hour period. Answer: None. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out the two primary qualifications for a job in front of the cameras on the biggest TV news organization on the planet – female and attractive. Thankfully, most also have brains.)
As opposed to women of the Greatest Generation who advanced solely on their own merit, today American women “get ahead” far more by forcing society to adjust to their incessant self-serving demands; by having a million rights and choices devoid of responsibility; by being completely unassailable and unaccountable; by censoring the conversation and tightly defining its parameters before it even begins; by invoking the enormous power of many dozens of lobbies, unions and special interest groups; by wielding a range of deadly clubs like “harassment” law suits and demanded quotas; by dependence on Big Daddy Government; by laying down a whole minefield of illogical things that just might get them upset without warning; by using their schools to garner for themselves twice as many university degrees as men; by their super-majority vote concerned only with “me”; by wallowing in their eternal victimhood to suck the life out of every other social ill in our society; by demanding countless double standards under some asinine self-serving definition of “equality”; by wielding a book full of old social conventions, laws, regulations, rules, policies and practices mandating deference to women (and their stupid shoes); by blaming all those inherently evil men for all their own shortcomings; and by crippling boys in their schools and homes before they can even get started. Considering all these factors no one is allowed to mention, actual competence is very far down on the Real List. The simple, and ugly, truth is that NO woman in America advances solely on her own merit without dozens of phony crutches now interwoven throughout our entire culture and political system. They also benefit, of course, from a really huge number of really stupid men they’ve manufactured in the shadows. (Just what, exactly, is “sexual harassment”? And why is it some sort of offense that can only be applied to one gender, whenever the other gender decides to do so? It’s offensive and viciously capricious nonsense, serving six-year old “me”.) I shudder to think what would have happened if the President had called the woman a hag, or, worse, ignored her completely. As a man, you’re damned if you, damned if you don’t. It’s all about whatever our emotional “special” women want, infantile children all, at any given moment in time.
Who needs that crap? Certainly no man with a decent IQ I know, especially with standards everywhere now so incredibly low. (I automatically dock an American man who is married 40 points in presumed IQ score; I’m certain that American women do the same.) Why bother? Take advantage of the most important right you have left: to say, “No, thanks.” Accept things as they are and chart your own course without all the suffocating bullshit. (The rest of you guys can be all the dumb, drippy, emotional, whiny girly-men your mommy wants you to be – in her own image. Just don’t impose all that stuff on me.) (This is why the sixth or seventh most popular woman who comes up on searches of the internet is an effeminate spoiled Canadian sweetie named Justin Bieber. I’m still not certain of his/her gender.)
Footnote #5. The New Master Race. The latest to give voice to such sick ideology is one Melissa Harris-Perry, a “hostess” (propagandist) on MSNBC who rejects the notion that children even belong to their parents. Having spent her entire life in the socialist utopia that is theoretical American academia, this 40-year old privileged freak, born in Seattle in 1973, received a bachelor of arts in English from Wake Forest in 1994 and a Ph.D. in political science from Duke in 1999. She then taught political science at the University of Chicago (1999-2005), was an associate professor of politics and African-American studies at Princeton (2006-2010) and is now a professor of political science at Tulane. A life-long professional student who has never built anything, never even ventured out into Real Life, she’s now an “elitist” “expert” infecting impressionable others with her “entitled” nonsense devoid of responsibility for anything except her own self-serving theology. As do most of these academic “feminists”, she got started on the road to egocentrism by luxuriating in the “me” social sciences focused on women and minorities force-fed by our taxpayer-funded public schools – and then, because they’ve never been challenged, don’t know how to apply logic, to recognize how far is too far, can’t see that what they are advocating is just another form of slavery for others to which they object for themselves. That such a self-serving entity, hiding behind both birthright entitled gender and race, could actually be allowed to teach young minds at respected universities in America, much less be given a national stage on television, borders on the criminally insane. She and her like-minded sisters should be rounded up and shipped off to North Korea, where they would be right at home running that sick show.
These totally self-involved fake empty shells pretending to be human don’t even want to be “burdened” with responsibility for their own children! Avoid such “me” and “now” creeps like the plague; they quite simply serve no worthwhile human function. Representing the ultimate in self-adulation, the total abdication of any hint of personal responsibility, the ONLY thing that counts in their twisted world is “Me”. Such perverted monsters are a disease emanating straight from Marxist Socialism, with their extremist Stalinist ilk wrapped around their Freudian “id”, seeking to re-engineer humanity by deciding every aspect of human endeavor in the interests of the socialist state – according to arrogant elitist “me” naturally. It’s procreation as centralized planning of human mass production in collective child factories, wherein humans no longer even evidence humanity, but rather useful products cultivated, incubated, harvested, nurtured and tended by and for the state – by “someone else”. Theoretically all this will enable women to do great things like muscling their way into private men’s golf clubs. It is not coincidental that adherents to, and proponents of, American “feminism” meet all the common characteristics of members of a cult. (See Footnote #8.) This is a good example of just how far lunatics will go when they simply invoke their “special” status and are never challenged.
Reuters recently reported (in April 2013) on one of these supremely arrogant “me” women accidentally discovered in Brazil. She is a doctor who headed the intensive care unit in a large hospital in Curitiba who so far is charged with seven deaths in the unit, with as many as 300 more suspected. (Investigators are examining the records of over 1,700 deaths that occurred in the unit over just the past seven years.) With a God complex that is just breathtaking, she routinely ordered at least seven subordinate medical professionals to “decongest” the unit, often over the telephone. “I want to clear the intensive care unit. It’s making me itch,” she said in at least one taped recording. Prosecutors say she felt “all powerful” running the intensive care unit homicide scheme, to the point where she “had the power to decree the moment when a victim would die”, and was able to do it for so long, even with the full knowledge of so many others, because no one ever challenged her. (Thankfully in Brazil there are still laws on the books that can hold such ruthless women actually accountable.)
The Parenting Gestapo. Then there are those exceedingly offensive and judgmental members of the Parenting Gestapo, found in every neighborhood, social services agency and police department fanatically dedicated to making parenting the most difficult, expensive, despised and unrewarding occupation on Earth. Their ultimate objective is to deter any sane person from having and raising their own children so the whole procreation and development process can be assumed by state-run child factories employing brainless programmed button-pushers just like themselves. (Theoretically this will “free up” women for far more “productive self-realization” pursuits – as defined by the Parenting Gestapo, of course.) The primary qualifications for Parenting Gestapo membership are an IQ no higher than 50 and a reverence for reciting rules like hall monitors. These people love nothing more than twisting law into a club to criminalize the most innocent of parent-child activity, such as allowing the child to take even a single breath that is not under constant close supervision. Since it’s actually impossible to satisfy these creeps, a parent runs about a 50-50 chance of being charged with some asinine criminal infraction in a single year. Most members of the Parenting Gestapo belong inside tightly locked cages, but it’s a safe bet that they’ll end up as the jailers, and the children as well-trained, dependent, thumb-sucking, helpless pets. Like so much else in our sick society, parenting, too, is now all about fear. And who needs more of that? In the 21st century, fanning fear for profit is America’s biggest industry.
Footnote #6. American “Feminism”. A major part of the problem with “feminism”, with “women’s studies”, etc., is the simple fact that its disciples approach their subject matter in near total isolation, as if women exist, and have existed, in a completely separate world unto and of itself. So it’s all about “me” and “my group”. When you do that, you avoid the inconvenience of relativity, of placing the subject properly and accurately within a larger context, within all of society, including a society that is comprised half of men – whose circumstance was and remains hugely different. When you don’t have to consider your group in full comparison to other groups, you can, for example, make up your own definitions of “equality”. Whenever someone calls them out on this crap, they demand “propaganda equality”. For example, if there are 11,456 male ground soldiers with rifles battling enemy forces on deadly battlefields, and 23 women performing scattered support roles in air crews and headquarters administrative jobs, it’s always necessary to refer to them as “men and women” in combat. This neatly clouds truth and fosters the impression of equal numbers and danger to both genders. (A similar childish process takes place with “NATO” in combat zones such as Afghanistan, which prohibits combat casualties from being identified by nationality. In truth, 99% of those “NATO” casualties are American men – whose sacrifice enables all Europeans to pump themselves up on vicarious self-worth. Another example is the way Americans automatically use the “we” when referring to the accomplishments of a tiny few who do things “we” would never even consider doing. It’s ALL vicarious self-worth, on the cheap, signifying nothing.)
This becomes especially evident when women study themselves in the past. The “feminist” comparison, either explicit or implied, is between women of today and women of one or two centuries ago; it is NOT between women and men who existed simultaneously in one society one or two centuries ago. The values of today are then used to pass judgment on behavior of the past. It then becomes possible to sarcastically dissect women who write about social conventions, for example, that presented challenges to young women in finding a suitable marriage partner – without bothering to consider that almost all such potential suitors were at that time being blown to bits in a very deadly civil war. (I am constantly reminded of such works as “Little Women” written by privileged and educated “feminist” Louisa May Alcott during the US Civil War.) In total context, the trials and tribulations of such women become incredibly petty and childish, which makes relativity an inconvenient matter best avoided. Full honesty, that does include relativity, might just reveal that “tyrannical” conventions of that period went as far as possible to provide such “special” and “privileged” women a comfortable life of love and letters while shielding them from the full ugliness of life beyond the manicured garden, so that they could luxuriate in their very own fantasy world. At that point, the whole subject becomes meaningless to those snobbish “elitists” seeking everywhere evidence of “oppressive victimhood”. (You have to wonder what “feminists” would have concluded had the practice been to simply toss the dead and mutilated bodies of thousands of women on huge piles for burning.)
An excellent example of relativity, even if a bit extreme, is the Battle Of Gettysburg in 1863, which saw the accidental death of a single young women who was struck by a stray bullet as she baked bread in her kitchen. That seems like a tragic event sufficient for a whole novel – until you include the relative facts that the battle waged for three days all around her home and killed 8,000 men, wounded over 27,000 other men and that over 11,000 more men went “missing” (blown to bits, unrecognizable). One women tragically killed by accident seems to pale in comparison to 46,000 men whose lives were either ended or dramatically changed forever – right outside her kitchen window. Really huge numbers of those men couldn’t even read “Little Women”. And, at that very moment, in teeming city slums many hundreds of thousands of recently arrived uneducated and penniless women immigrants were struggling valiantly to stay alive while caring for their children among truly oppressive disease, crime and bigotry – and succeeding.
Relativity is a state of dependence in which the existence or significance of one entity is solely dependent on that of another entity. In real life women do not exist in a vacuum; they share the world with another gender of approximately equal size. So, if all women are innocent victims, then they are victims of inherently evil men; one significance is solely dependent on another. Then there is the relativity of “victimhood”. It’s easy to wring your hands over women pining to be free of convention imposed by other women so they can be romanced by a suitor of their choosing – when you don’t have to concern yourself with the fact that men who might be suitors were far more concerned at that moment with simply staying alive, with not being blown to bits in war. “Feminism” is mostly about avoiding relativity, by not making inconvenient comparisons, by not including a wide range of other relevant facts, by concentrating solely on the self in isolation. As such, it is an illogical construct, existing mainly in self-serving fantasy, and it thus naturally leads to a mind-set that is mostly self-serving delusion.
This is how it is possible for boys to simply “create themselves” – to become those evil men. (As eternal victims, women are conveniently blameless.) Such a myopic focus by interest groups and lobbies on “me” and “my group” in isolation leads inevitably to a self-engineered herd mentality of perpetual persecution, an “eternal victim” status that, even though conditions in reality dramatically change, now “entitles” one to make incessant demands of others while accepting no responsibilities for those others, much less for themselves. It creates in a whole group of humans a de facto “group entitlement” not at all unlike that “entitlement” that enabled for centuries a nobility class to rule ruthlessly over its population without possibility of redress – on the basis of absolutely nothing but birth into a self-anointed “special” class. Such “birthright entitlement” creates in the “special” group an arrogant sense of superiority over others, a superiority characterized by a plethora of rights devoid of responsibilities. Those others gradually get reduced in the minds of the “entitled” to ever lower levels of humanity, even to the point of being ridiculed and condemned by the “entitled class” that created them through their own ruthless practices. By the time you get to “special” people laughing at their own creations you are beyond logic and beginning to approach insanity. The history of mankind has clearly shown that such social dynamics among human groups invariably self-destruct, and quite often ignominiously, usually after considerable violent eruption. In America there is no “special” in equal, for extremely good reasons (despite what “feminists” would have you believe). I’ve seen enough of unaccountable “feminists” exercising their “right” to “lead” at very high positions to make me terrified of what happens when women decide to anoint one of their own, with no sense of responsibility beyond themselves, especially for me and my group, to ascend to the throne and start making their unchallenged demands of all those “inherently evil men” everywhere. (For just one example, see “Conversation With A Young Lady“.) The war against Libya was just a precursor.
Footnote #7. Married, With Children. One of the phrases we hear a lot these days is “single mothers” – who need tons of pity and admiration and help and money for the consequences of their own decisions. I’ve spent my adult life among rather masculine and stoic men, almost all of whom considered themselves, essentially, “single fathers”. Even if they didn’t have children, their wives were every bit as much hassle and expense and worry as children. Even when they were deployed there seemed to be no end to the problems and whines and expenses emanating from the home front. For some guys, addressing those petty things took more energy and concern than the requirements of their jobs, and insufficient money was a constant anxiety no matter how much the guy was earning and sending home. They were expected to keep such problems at home to an absolute unseen minimum so that they did not detract one iota from their ability to perform at peak effectiveness on the job, where staying alive and keeping their buddies alive were the primary considerations. I often wondered why such men remained married, but the answer really was the same as it’s always been: “It’s what is expected of me.”
In fact, for military officers at least, being married was an important ticket for faster promotion, and how well he addressed those constant “family” problems was a critical factor in those promotions, a very well known invisible box on the score sheet that required the maximum points. How well the wife conducted herself in public was also a critical aspect of her husband’s promotion, an aspect that could just as easily have dire negative consequences as positive. A man with a “problem wife” (or children) who could not be “contained”, or who did not measure up to the highest standards in public, was a guaranteed pass-over at promotion time. If he got two pass-overs, he was on his way out of service. His apparent inability to properly manage his personal affairs was perceived as an existing weakness that had not been detected in his public profession. In essence, personal and public were one and the same; there was no such thing as “private”. Some officers tried to apply these same standards to their senior NCOs, who, naturally, had a way of passing them on down the chain, with varying degrees of effectiveness. This promotion aspect began to change around 1980, when women who were streaming into a peacetime military (after the Draft ended and pay went way up) mainly to serve long enough to qualify for college tuition benefits, refused to be held to such standards. So they weren’t. But, in many ways, men still are. “Single fathers” is still pretty much a universal concept in the US military, probably even more so since their wives now have so many watchdogs in their powerful lobbies and regulations and politicians all eager to listen to their whines and broadcast them to the world.
I advise military men to either leave the service or seek a divorce the minute the first signs of trouble on the home front show up; to do otherwise is simply to invite professional suicide. Trying to manage all that constant childish nonsense at home while also serving thousands of miles away in difficult jobs just isn’t worth it. Divided attention can easily get people killed. For myself, I always fall back on the very loud and stern admonishment I was given by a crusty NCO when I first showed up with a bunch of other young men for basic training long ago: “If the Army had wanted you to have a wife, the Army would have issued you a wife!” (The Draft was still taking all the warm male bodies it wanted.) An army exists to fight and win deadly wars; it does not exist to play babysitter for whining and demanding child-women back home. But these days, it does. Soldiers, especially male soldiers, are a secondary consideration. (And he’s still worth far more dead than alive. Single soldiers don’t have nearly the pay-off potential that married soldiers do, or are even paid as much. But they also don’t have to deal with all the home hassles, either.)
Footnote #8. Cults. Generally accepted characteristics of a cult:
1) The group is focused on iconic leaders to whom members display excessively zealous, unquestioning commitment.
2) The group is preoccupied with bringing in new members and/or making money.
3) Questioning, doubt, and dissent of the group’s dogma are strongly discouraged.
4) Mind-numbing techniques (such as denunciations) are used to suppress members’ doubts.
5) The group’s leadership dictates how members should think, act, and feel (for example: members must get permission from leaders to date, change jobs, or get married; leaders may determine types of clothes to wear, where to live, how to discipline children, etc..)
6) The group is elitist, claiming a “special”, exalted, entirely self-serving status for itself, it’s leaders, and members (for example: the group and/or the leader has a special mission to save humanity).
7) The group has a polarized we-they mentality that causes conflict with the wider society, especially with non-believers, who are typically marginalized by negative labels.
8) The group’s leaders are not accountable to any authorities, which fosters a similar belief also applicable to members.
9) The group teaches or implies that its “superior” ends justify means that members would have considered unethical before joining the group.
10) The group’s leadership induces guilt or “victim” feelings in members in order to control them.
11) Members’ subservience to the group causes them to give up previous personal goals and interests while devoting inordinate amounts of time to the groups’.
12) Members are encouraged or required to live and/or socialize only with other group members or true believers.
American “feminism” evidences almost all of these characteristics, in spades. History is littered with the tragic consequences of cults that are never challenged, until it’s too late. There is no “special” in equal.